pathfxnder

slytherinjew

hogwarts mystery characters as things my friends and i have said

mc: what the fuck are y’all so rude for i BREATHED

merula: exactly, you exhale carbon dioxide and that destroys the environment you bitch

rowan: what are you gonna do with your life

ben: idk man i’m gay and depressed

charlie, drunk at 2 am: imagine how much better game of thrones would be if all the characters were played by dragons

penny: don’t listen to tonks she quotes vines unironically

tonks, in a defensive voice: what the FUCK is up kyle

rowan: no no you gotta use the matterbaby

mc: what’s the matterbaby

rowan:*uncontrollable wheezing*

barnaby: i have a whole three brain cells left do i look like i have any idea what im doing

penny: everywhere i go there’s men disappointing me this should be a hate crime

ben: i don’t really want to do that, tho

mc: that’s fine

ben: OKAY FINE so when we do it-

tonks: and for my next trick i will now disappear once i drop this blanket *drops blanket, starts running, trips over blanket, falls down stairs*

merula, all dressed up: so what do you think

mc: i think that’s what i see in the corner of my bedroom when i have sleep paralysis

prefect: it’s late, you’re exhausted, go the fuck to sleep

mc: you know it’s bad enough i have to be a slave to capitalism all day long and i come back here only to have you push your mainstream societal views on appropriate times to go to bed down my THROAT

prefect:…

mc: fuck you, i hate when you’re right, goodnight

tulip: i bs-ed the essay part so bad. he’s gonna take one look at my final and say “how is this bitch top of the class when she has zero reading comprehension skills”

ben: penny, i need help with this math problem

penny: im gay i can’t do math

bill: *crying on the kitchen table at 12:30 am*

charlie: so this is adulthood

tonks: *dancing towards cops on the street* take me away officers

ismelda: *banging her head against the wall* DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH

mc: *messes something up*

prefect: *to everyone else* okay let this be a lesson learned for some of you. focus on your studies and maybe you won’t be as much of a fuck up.

barnaby: what if mariah carey is made of helium? it could explain how she’s so skinny AND can hit those high notes.

merula: are you on fucking crack?

i-want-some-dam-fries

bokchois

I’m going to be that person with a million pokemon stickers merch

jassmarie19

calumthonas

vangoghstss

This is actually v important and needs to be reblogged

thexdarkenedxlight

Gonna just share this:

My European Studies professor decided a few weeks ago to take a Friday and instead of following the syllabus, he spent the entire hour and a half comparing Hitler’s actions from a European perspective to that of what Trump is doing in America. He never repeated a single point, and even used video and photos like this to show the comparison.

To make things better, he had us do an in class assignment for participation points. He first played a clip on youtube of one of Hilter’s speeches, subtitled and 3 minutes long. He then played a clip of one of Trump’s rallies. Our assignment? Copy down every single sentence that matched in translation down on a sheet of paper or a word document that wasn’t repeated. The person with the closest amount to what my professor found got a candy bar.

My professor found, in just three minutes of a speech, that Trump matched 65 different phrases/sentences to that of Hitler’s translation.

65 nearly identical phrases used in his speeches. Take a moment to think about that.

cakeandrevolution

Like, according to Trump’s first wife Ivana he kept a book of Hitler’s speeches in his nightstand and would read it periodically… so the overlap is not at all surprising given his obsession with Hitler’s propaganda.

scary

bellatricksters

captain-ozone

kryptonavatar

He is coming….

jassmarie19

petitetimidgay

had the sweetest moment this weekend with my 18-month-old baby cousin. my aunt and uncle were kicking a tennis ball back and forth and encouraging him to play. I was, as always, silently watching from my wheelchair (I’m not much for athletics anyway lol). he pointed at me while my aunt was holding him. she put him down and my uncle kicked the ball to him. instead of kicking it right back like earlier in the day, he picked up the ball and carried it to me, placing it down very emphatically in front of me. I was worried and anxious that he’d get frustrated when I didn’t kick the ball and become upset because I “refused” to kick it and he obviously wouldn’t understand why. I looked at him for a split second apologetically, expecting him to start fussing or cry when I wouldn’t do what I thought he was asking. but suddenly, he just got behind the ball so that he was in front of me and kicked the ball to my uncle on my behalf.

I teared up. he wasn’t demanding I kick the ball - he was putting it down dramatically to make sure I’d be watching and so I’d know he was helping me with my “turn.” at 18 months old, he not only noticed I was being excluded on his own, but actively brainstormed ways to include me with zero prompting from adults. It was the sweetest and most empathetic gesture towards me in months. I love him so much. my heart is melting.

bellatricksters

aprillikesthings

The USPS is the fastest, cheapest, and most accurate mail service on the planet last I heard, and is the biggest employer of veterans in the entire country.

On top of that, mail carriers:
-have wages that top out at over $30 an hour (and their wages go up in predictable steps based on how long they’ve been with the USPS)
-have excellent benefits, including a shit-ton of vacation time, plus a pension, and they can retire after thirty years

But they also have one of the oldest, biggest, strongest unions in the country. That must piss off Republicans so much.

Also, side note: they take zero taxpayer dollars. They’re entirely funded by postage.

(”But I heard they were doing terribly!” They’re not. Congress saddled them with pre-funding their retirement 75 years out to intentionally put them in the red and make them look bad. I’m not joking or exaggerating. There’s tons of info, but here’s the USPS’s own info: https://about.usps.com/who-we-are/financials/annual-reports/fy2010/ar2010_4_002.htm )

BOOST

jassmarie19

bobavader

bellatricksters

whatbethsays whatbethsays

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

understandager

Welcome, stranger!

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

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hogwarts mystery characters as things my friends and i have said